G Lounge - Saturday October 8

A new report from Christina Larkins - Adam



G Lounge 111 S 17th St
Saturday October 8, 11 pm
$20 cover



If you’d like a nice place to go just to hear a few light pop songs, grab a drink and look at pretty women, or clean cut men in suits, then I highly suggest this place. But don’t expect to be blown away by anything. Its like the Kim Kardashian of clubs. All looks. No substance. And highly overpriced.

The one word that keeps coming to my mind when I think of the G Lounge is safe. Very nice. Very clean. Very proper. And very safe.

The craziest part of this club is the ridiculous “Studio 54” like line outside. Lots of pushing waiting to get in, lots of “hey I’m on this list” etc etc. But once I got past all of the fluffery, I walked down stairs to get in and heard Whitney Houston “I wanna dance with somebody” playing. In 2011. And I knew it was safe. The type of lounge you might actually bring your boss to after her nasty divorce. Very….yuppie. Safe. Corporate. But, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I did end up having one of the best nights out in the city in a long time, In spite of myself. It’s hard not to have fun there.

The club is visually beautiful. Huge VIP areas with leather couches, and cool lighting. There was a huge back bar, and a little “mini” bar on the dance floor. (I suggest using the back bar, the poor girl was getting totally slammed at the mini bar.) Mirrors were all around, which actually made me think the place was huge, at first glance. But no, It seems that most of the space was given to the “lounging” part. So if you actually want to dance you have a little space in the back by the DJ, or you can utilize any of the super skinny aisle. Which, I would highly recommend staying OUT of the aisle. Have you ever been on a subway during rush hour ? That’s pretty much equivalent to standing still in the main aisle at G Lounge.

I must admit, although the DJ was ridiculously generic, spinning the same mindless top 40 “radio friendly” jams you hear all day long, he DID keep the crowd going. It also helped that there were some amazingly beautiful dancers on boxes all night that were awe inspiring. Even if you didn’t like the music, you liked THEM liking the music lol.

The crowd was mixed, but all seemed to be of a certain class level. Not too many struggling artists types around this place. Everyone was very well dressed and for the most part friendly. And, seeing as how this is one of the only clubs in Philly were celebs are actually spotted at, I’m sure most of them were hoping to “casually” run into some D-List celeb. You know. But I appreciate good fashion so I wont judge their motives.

The drinks were very well made and after a few of them, even I felt safe enough to take my rhythmically challenged self to the dance floor for a bit.
The bathrooms were clean but small. And well maintained. And the attendant is probably the funniest woman in the world. She should really have her own show.
The staff (bouncers, bartenders, managers) were all very friendly and helpful throughout the night.

All in all it was a good time.

Dress spiffy. No sneakers or tees. And bring some cash. Those nicely made drinks add up. Shot of tequila was appx $15. Jack & Ginger was $10.

--

Christina Larkins

Electric Butter at the Walnut Room

A fresh new report from Bryant Nnadi, reporting on a night at the stylish Walnut Room. -Adam

Electric Butter at the Walnut Room, Thursday June 30

Report by: Bryant Nnadi

Last night I went to a party called Electric Butter created by Philadelphia's resident DJ, DJ PHSH (pronounced "fish") at the Walnut Room. The event featured an artist/MC named Buddy Leezle and guest performer Charlie (former drummer for the Philly Hip Hop Group Subliminal Orphans).

The music was a combination of Electro and Dub Step with a twist of live drum & bass. Charlie played off of an electronic drum set, and he would overlap the drums to various tracks that DJ PHSH spun. The performance was amazing, because you got to watch a live remixing of popular songs like SBTRKT ft. Little Dragon - Wildfire (RMX ft. Drake).

During the intermission, Buddy Leezle performed some of his material but it wasn't that good. In fact, it killed the party a little bit. His constant use of the word "bitch" turned the majority of the female crowd away from the stage. After a quick switch up though by DJ PHSH the party was rejuvenated with life and the festivities continued.

As for the crowd is was predominately women. Attractive Women!

I was fortunate enough to snag a dancing session with a rather energetic hipster Asian chic who, for the purposes of confidentiality we'll call "Sasha".

Sasha was the secret star of the party. Of all the many dancers and breakers that fluttered about, Sasha had the attentions of practically everyone in the club-including myself. What brought her to the forefront of everyone’s attention was when she dropped to the floor and performed a dance called the "Body Roll". I never heard of this dance until I saw it in action last night, but when Sasha dropped, time stopped.

If your wondering what the Body Roll looks like, let me draw a mental picture for you.

Imagine someone falling to the ground and landing on his or her knees almost in prayer position. Then imagine the dancer leaning to the floor as if they were going for the title of lowest limbo. Now the next part of this dance is when the dogs come out. After the dancer's back is parallel to the floor, he or she starts to gyrate their hips in a slow winding circular motion. Or, if you can’t imagine this, here's youtube, where there's tons of examples. But keep in mind none of those videos will ever match the real thing in person. I wasn’t as skilled on the dance floor as Sasha was, but I had a good time talking and doing the same old two-step. It’s a good thing that not all dances go out of style.

I never thought I'd walk into a party and I would be a part of an endangered populous.

Although there were a few other men at the party, I could literally count them on my fingers and foot.

Otherwise the demographic was multicultural and stylish. After talking to a few folks, I got a feel for what everyone at the party was into. A lot of people were into Hip Hop and House music, while the rest preferred a varied selection of songs. It was honestly a great time, and I'm not surprised that it was at the Walnut Room.

Electric Butter is held every last Thursday of the month, from 10pm - 2am. So if you're into an upbeat party with great looking people and music Electric Butter is the spot to be.

Bryant Nnadi

Monk’s Café - June 21 Visit

And now a new report from P. Thatcher on a recent visit to Monk's Cafe. - Adam

Monk’s Café Belgian Beer and Emporium and Restaurant, June 21 7:15PM – 9:00PM

Report By: P. Thatcher

I had never been to Monk’s before, although I’ve passed by it many times. When a visiting friend (VF) suggested it as an alternative to the fully booked Barbuzo it seemed like a fine suggestion, so we agreed to meet up there for dinner.

As it happened work was slow Tuesday so I stayed home. My hot date and I took the bus together from stately Thatcher manor and made excellent time to the restaurant. We arrived at about 7:10, and there we hit upon an unexpected flaw in my planning: Monk’s will not seat you until your whole party has arrived. Since the actual planned meet-up time with VF was 7:30, I and the luscious hot date (LHD) had to wait. Now, this would not have seemed so bad except that it was hot in there, and the bar was packed. Not a seat in the house available, so LHD and I had to stand.

While I managed to maintain my stoic calm, I could tell that LHD was very annoyed at the wait and lack of seating. For those of you unfamiliar with women, this is a bad omen for the rest of the evening. On the other hand, I got a good look at a Dyson fan, which was interesting to see in operation. Alien technology or no, it was still outmatched by the heat in the room, but it helped when it blew right at me.

So I and LHD spent some time looking at the room. The bar was filled almost exclusively with men during the time we were waiting. I did see some mussel pots delivered to them as well, so eating at the bar is an option.

Eventually, VF arrived, and very quickly our black-clad feline hostess got us to a very cute three seat alcove. Now things started to improve significantly. [I later learned that the semi-private nook made the LHD very happy, and much inclined to visit again.] Waters arrived, and I started reviewing the incredibly long and helpful beer menu.

So, I don’t know much about beer. I blame society. And advertising. So I’m sitting there and looking at one of Philadelphia’s greatest beer lists and I have no idea what I ought to drink. Sure I want it to taste good, but it would also be nice to impress VF and LHD.

So, I review the beer list, and I realize there’s a whole section on fruit beers. [Wikipedia later teaches me more about the lambics.] And so, grasping at straws, I tell feline hostess, I’d like something with cherry.

Here, friends, is what it means to live in civilization: she starts to actually help me! My rough guess is that the beer list has something like 200 entries on it, from all over the whole planet. And she is able to immediately begin narrowing down options (“do you like it sweeter, or more tart”) to identify which beer I should try. It’s amazing. VF applauds the hostess’s obvious beer knowledge. And soon arrives in my hands one of the most astonishing beers I’ve ever had.

If you can imagine a wondrous beer version of sour cherry soda, then that is the beer I had. Specifically a bottle of Lindemans Kriek. It was $12 and they brought the bottle and the appropriate glassware. I was stunned.

You want to know what VF and LHD drank? Best as I recall giddy on the bubbles…nothing. And with uncharacteristic restraint, I decided to slow-go it to keep up with the ladies.

Noise level in the room was low enough that all three of us could talk comfortably. I greatly appreciated that.

You know what I also greatly appreciate? Hamburgers. I had their Ardennes hamburger with the pommes frites on the sides, cooked medium. It was great, and definitely filled me up. The LHD had eaten a late lunch, so she opted for dessert for dinner. The hostess gracefully brought out the desert tray, and the LHD went for the buttermilk blueberry tart.

VF ordered the classic Belgian dish: Mussels. It was the small, but even so I don’t think she managed to eat all of them. Her dish included bread at the side to sop up the broth and a side of the pommes frites.

We ate and talked. In the end it was a wonderful time.

The bill arrived quickly when we asked for it, the total was reasonable, and by this point, about 9 o’clock, the room had started to clear and the bar now had free seats available.

As we stepped out into the summer evening, the LHD shared that other than the long wait to get seated she had really enjoyed the evening. So I avoided the perdition’s flames of an angry woman, and call the evening a success.

P. Thatcher

G Lounge - June 3 Visit

And now comes another long-awaited report, from another new writer, Ebony Knight. -Adam

G Lounge, Friday June 3

Report by: Ebony Knight

As a busy wife, mother, and prelaw student, I covet the rare opportunities I get to let my hair down and just be ME! Imagine my disappointment when, after finally finding an outfit that didn’t scream “soccer-mom”, getting all six of my little angels settled with the sitter (yes, I said SIX!), and breaking a few traffic laws to find the G Lounge and a place to park in downtown Philadelphia early enough to get in free, I ended up being turned away at the door because I didn’t have proper ID. After the initial shock of being “carded”, my husband and I made the trek back to the parking garage to retrieve my driver’s license from my purse. Of course we ended up having to pay full price since the bouncer claimed it was after 10:00pm already.

The atmosphere outside the G Lounge leads one to believe that they are about to enter an upscale establishment. The bouncer who asks you if you’re “on the list”, the pic of Snoop Dogg on their website, and the inscription you read when you walk in “sophisticated nightlife” all contribute to the ambiance of exclusivity. However, upon entering the G Lounge, I found it to be more like a boring house party in someone’s basement.

After going down a few stairs and through a couple doors you’re met by an ex (or aspiring) pimp whom I assume was watching either the register, the girl on the register, or both. I am not exaggerating when I say he looked like a wanna-be-pimp: mismatched polyester suit, hat, gold rings and all! Proceeding past this unexpected source of comic relief, we entered the G Lounge and ordered a drink at one of their three bars. Unfortunately, we only ordered one drink since my request for something “cute and slushy” couldn’t be fulfilled because they don’t have blenders in their establishment. What kind of bar doesn’t have a blender!?!?!?! Anyway, the one drink we did order cost us a whopping $15 bucks!

It wasn’t hard to find a place to sit since the place was virtually empty besides a few stragglers here and there who were enjoying drinks quietly. There was also a group of young guys who seemed to be doing a pretty good job entertaining themselves in what was supposed to be the VIP section of the club. Note: this “VIP” area consists of an unenclosed, elevated strip of the room with one girl dancing at the entrance of the room for everyone to see. Sadly, this wasn’t even a perk since neither of the two girls who took turns dancing had any rhythm. I guess the big guy blocking the entrance of the landing makes it “VIP”.

The lounge/basement was decorated very comfortably with some sections of it actually looking like a living room, complete with flat screen televisions on the wall. We were bored out of our minds for the first hour we were there. We actually got out hands stamped and left for a while just to walk around the city and grab a quick bite to eat with hopes that the party would start poppin by the time we returned. After window shopping and enjoying a free doughnut from Krispy Kreme for doughnut day, we returned to find that a few more people had shown up, but the party was far from poppin. Maybe it was the house/techno music that I couldn’t quite get with or the boring movie that kept catching my attention and on the flat screen televisions, but I couldn’t stop yawning and after another hour or so I finally decided to retire to life as usual…Until next time!

Ebony Knight